


Humble

by deanneedstoshakeitoff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 16:13:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11085219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanneedstoshakeitoff/pseuds/deanneedstoshakeitoff
Summary: Castiel has been in love with Dean Winchester for as long as he can remember. A drunken night leads to Dean's apartment and all Cas' problems might just be solved.





	Humble

"How in fuck did this happen?" Was Cas' first thought as he woke up; in someone else's bed.

Well, not just someone else's: Dean's. Dean who he'd been in love with for so many goddamn years and had been literally pining over for as long as he could remember and somehow, somehow, Cas had managed to keep that a secret from Dean for the entirety of their friendship. Until last night.

He'd been already drunk before they'd even gone out, but then Dean had suggested going out to celebrate Sam's promotion at the museum and Cas had wholeheartedly agreed. They ended up in Kudos, a small bar with a little club at the back. They had took a seat at the bar, ordering a round of shots between them and a pint each. Chatting easily between them the night had started off slow but it hadn't taken long before Cas was off his head and he had pulled Dean onto the dance floor only an hour or so after they'd arrived. This was reasonably normal. Dean and Cas were the best drinking buddies and Cas being such a lightweight meant he dragged Dean in to some crazy situations. Dean always said he didn't mind, they always got some great stories out of it. Charlie had once joked that Cas was only fun when he was drunk. Dean had sighed saying "Cas is always fun Charlie, you're just too dumb to understand his sober humor." Charlie had huffed a laugh and Cas rolled his eyes, but he had turned his head and smiled a secret smile.

So there he was dancing with Dean in the club, practically grinding on him, when everything had gone wrong. He'd pulled Dean close, could feel himself half hard pressed against Dean's thigh, and said "Let's get out of here."

A harmless enough sentence in the right circumstances but a deadly one in the wrong.

He couldn't remember how Dean had looked after that but the next thing he knew they were in a taxi on the way back to Dean's place all over each other. Cas was practically sitting on Dean's lap, hands mapping all over his face as he pressed deeper into their frantic kisses. The taxi driver must've hated them.

Then they were at Dean's apartment, struggling through the door trying to rid each other of their clothes as they tried to make it to the bedroom. Then they were naked and he was inside Dean and he could feel himself burning up and every touch was on fire and he remembered feeling like everything in his life had been leading to that moment. 

And now here he was. Awake and covered in sweat in Dean's bed, in Dean's apartment after he and Dean had sex, and he was alone. Dean had gone and he was left alone. Obviously he knew what had happened. It made complete sense of course but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Dean would be thinking of it as a mistake, an alcohol induced foolish mistake. And so he left. Cas buried his head in his hands. He'd fucked up. His bottled up emotions had escaped, beer giving them the key and some fucking how that lead to him having sex with the love of his goddamn life. While Dean had just gone with it in his drunken state and woke up with Cas in his bed, then left. It was easy to understand of course, Cas could take a hint. He tried to stop the tears falling but could already feel them as the began to fall hot and heavy down his cheeks. He was sobbing, actually sobbing and gripping his t-shirt at the chest, pain rippling through him. He wouldn't ever forgive himself for this. Practically forced himself on Dean while he was drunk and fucked up the best thing he'd ever had.

He had to get out of here. Throwing back the covers he stumbled out of bed, a hand to his head as it span. He grunted. Way too much alcohol. He glanced round the room for his clothes and spotted his trousers at the foot of the bed. He shucked them on quickly and zipped the fly as he walked over to the armchair by the window. His shirt was thrown over the back of it. He buttoned it up with one hand, pulling his shoe out from underneath the chair with his other hand. He didn't bother looking for his socks or pants, he just wanted out of there as quick as possible. All he needed now was his other shoe. His eyes scanned the room quicky and he spotted it laying on its side on the doormat.

He bent to pick it up and was just tugging it on when he heard someone fiddling with the door.

Shit, he thought, frozen in place. Dean opened the door.

They stared at each other, Dean with a bag in one hand, key in the other and Cas hunched with a shoe half on his foot. Blinking quickly, he lowered his eyes; fumbling as he pulled his shoe all the way on. He kept his eyes lowered, trying to escape this situation with as little embarrassment as possible although he could feel his cheeks were already starting to heat up. He heard Dean move towards him and the door closing behind him. He winced slightly, his exit blocked off.  
"Cas-" Dean began but Cas interrupted quickly, hoping to get away from this without having to hear any words of rejection from Dean. That would fuck him up even more.  
"I'm sorry," he blurted out, his eyes meeting Dean's just long enough to notice the flicker of hurt before he's looking down again. "I'm sorry. I- I was just leaving." Keeping his head down he moved to step round Dean, heading for the door. Though before he could move Dean's arm came out and gripped his shoulder, holding him firmly in place. He ducks a little to force Cas to meet his eyes.  
"You're leaving? Why?" He asks and Cas looks up, confused. Dean looks back at him before pain sparks in his eyes and now he looks down. "That's it then?" He asks. Cas frowns.  
"I..." He trails off unsure how to continue. "I, yes." He says and Dean looks as though he was punched in the gut. Cas' hands twitch out, fingers aching to smooth away that look. Before yesterday he might've done just that, but he shouldn't touch him. Not after last night. He's confused. He doesn't understand why Dean looks so hurt by that. "Dean, I," He stops as Dean shakes his head. Dean's hand drops from Cas' shoulder and he steps away. "Dean." Cas repeats, but Dean shakes his head again; this time with more force.  
"No, Cas." His voice breaks. "It's ok. It's- You don't have to explain. It's fine. It's just, I hoped.." Dean didn't finish. He let the bag he had in one hand drop to the floor and Cas glanced at it before he realised Dean now had his head buried in his hands. Cas stared at him confused and worried and in pain. Dean sobbed, just once and Cas felt his heart break in two. Before he knew what he was doing he'd reached out and grabbed Dean's hands, wrenching them away from his face. Dean tried to pull away trying to hide the tears but Cas had already seen them and now he was frantic.  
"Dean, what?" He asked as he desperately wiped the tears from Dean's face. "Why are you,- I don't understand. Dean!" More tears fell from Dean's eyes and Cas had his hands cupping Dean's cheeks using his thumbs to wipe as many of them a way as possible. He looked into Dean's eyes and his thumbs froze at the look of utter sadness there. His heart shattered at the sight of it. He felt tears of his own start to well up. Dean brought one of his hands up and used it to take one of Cas' away from his face, holding it delicately.  
"Do you hate me now?" He asked. Cas' brow furrowed again and his mouth opened.  
"What?" He asked, voice embarrassingly high pitched out of shock.  
"I," Dean coughed, "I know it must've been a shock and I'm sorry I didn't mean to. I didn't. I didn't mean for it to go like that. I know you don't feel the same way." Cas' mind was reeling. He didn't know what expression he was making but Dean was suddenly gripping his hand really hard and leaning forward to look him right in the eyes. "You forgive me right? I was so drunk and I wanted to tell you properly but it just came out. You forgive me right? We can still be friends?"

Cas' brain had stopped working as he tried to filter though what Dean was saying.  
"I...I," he stuttered, and Dean's expression closed. He dropped Cas' hand.  
"I guess not then." He said.  
"No no no no no," Cas said hurriedly snatching Deans hand back with both of his. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to figure out whats going on." He admitted.  
"It's simple," Dean said, lips pinched in a tight line. "I told you I was in love with you and we had really fucking fantastic drunk sex but it was a big mistake because you obviously don't feel the same way and now I've fucked everything up." He was crying again, hot and heavy tears and Cas couldn't do anything except stare in shock.  
"But..but," His mouth opened and closed uselessly unable to form whole sentences. Dean was in love with him? Dean told him he was in love with him? Last night? "You love me?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper. Dean looked at him and nodded forlornly. "You're in love with me?" He asked again. Dean nodded one sharp nod, still crying. 

Cas' thoughts closed up, his mind went blank and he was only vaguely aware that he'd reached and scrunched his hands into Dean's collar pulling him against his lips. He heard Dean make a shocked noise and pressed deeper into the kiss, trying to convey his feelings through it, even though his mind was just repeating over and over again: "Dean said he was in love with me. Dean said he was in love with me!" 

Dean pulled away suddenly, sucking in deep breaths.  
"What're you doing?" He asked. Cas followed after him, chasing his lips with his mouth.  
"Say it again," he said. Dean let their lips slot together again for a second before he's pulling back again.  
"Cas, what? I don't get it. Why are you-"  
"I love you." Cas said quickly. "I love you. I love you too." He kissed Dean again, licking along his bottom lip. Dean moaned.  
"Cas, Cas," He said, voice muffled against Cas' lips. "Cas, wait," He said breaking away. Cas stopped and sucked in a couple of quick breaths.  
"Sorry, sorry," he said watching as Dean put a hand over his own heart and huffed a few breaths of his own.  
"It's fine. Just. I'm confused, you said you didn't- this isn't out of pity, right?"  
"What?" Cas asked shocked, and Dean looked down.  
"I don't want it...like if you're doing this cause you're my friend I don't want you to-"  
"The fuck is wrong with you, Dean Winchester." Dean looked up shocked.  
"What?" He asked.  
"You think I would do this out of pity?" Cas moved right close into Dean's personal space, almost pressed up against him. "You think I would do that to you?"  
Dean shifted.  
"Well, no. But you said you didn't-"  
"When did I? When have I ever said I didn't want you? I woke up thinking I had fucked everything up but telling you MY feelings, not the other way around. I woke up in your bed alone. Thinking you'd left so I could leave more easily. Without having to look at you knowing you know I love you but you don't feel the same way." Cas sighed softly. Dean blinked rapidly.  
"You got it all wrong, Cas. I left to get breakfast." Dean said, gesturing to the bag he had dropped. Cas looked at it again, now noticing that it had GREGGS written on the side of it. Dean stepped closer, a smile beginning on his face. There was no distance between them now, their chests were pressed together. "I confessed last night. Not you. I told you I was in love with you while we were dancing, you remember?" Cas shook his head.  
"I remember dancing but I don't remember you saying anything. I was..." Cas trailed off, looking for the right words. "Pretty excited," he decided on and Dean snorts a laugh. "And then I asked if we could, you know, get out of there." He said looking at Dean. "That was me. Not you."  
Dean shook his head, now grinning broadly. "You didn't," he said, hands coming up to cup Cas' face. "I said that"  
"No," Cas said, adamant.  
"I did" Dean said. "I pulled you right up against me and said that I had loved you for a long ass and I wanted to be with you and then we got in that taxi."  
Cas' brow scrunched up, trying to remember.  
"I don't remember." He said. And Dean laughed ecstatic, wrapping his arms around Cas' shoulders in a tight hug. Cas smiled against Dean's shoulder. "I love you." He said, Dean's arms tightened and he breathed in sharply. "Does this mean I don't have to leave?" Cas asked. Dean barked a loud laugh and pulled back to look him in the eyes.  
"You leave and I'll kill you." He said, leaning down to kiss him again. Cas hummed against his mouth and moved his hands to Dean's hips bringing him even closer.


End file.
